Monday, 7 October 2013

Endings into Beginnings

I've had a terrible month - my darling springer spaniel, Roxie, died suddenly on 12th September, the day before her 10th birthday. I was devastated. She helped me through the toughest times of my life, when I couldn't imagine wanting to live, let alone having the motivation to go to university and write. I miss her every day, at the oddest times. I used to get so annoyed when she followed me to the toilet all the time, but now it feels weird to be alone!

The month got worse when we found out that my grandmother was dying from 3 bleeds on her brain the weekend after Roxie died; she gave up her battle last Wednesday. She was 88, so we were prepared, but she went through a lot of pain and it was horrible to watch. I can only imagine what it must have felt like for her.

The third ending in September was a positive one: I finished my novel! I didn't want to use Roxie's death as an excuse for not entering the Mslexia novel competition like I said I would, and although I know she was a dog and knew nothing about novels, I felt that she would have wanted be to finish it. The novel is far from perfect - it needs a good polish and its brevity makes me nervous, as if I have forgotten to include a lot of stuff. But nevermind, I can put it aside for a while and move on.

Conversely, my life has also been full of beginnings. One of my best friends had her first baby yesterday (and it's a girl!) and another got engaged earlier in September. I also have a friend whose second baby is due in December. It's an exciting time!

The major beginning for me is... I'm getting a puppy on Saturday!

His name is Murray and he was supposed to be ready 16th October, on his 8 week birthday, but the vet said the puppies could go a little earlier, so it turns out that I will get him on the 1 month anniversary of Roxie's death. I can't wait to own a dog again (and to belong to him). I always knew I would want another dog soon after Rox and I think he's the perfect choice to be my second one. I met him a couple of weeks ago and he was very, very cute - I can't wait to bring him home!


  1. I'm so sorry for your sad losses, Hayley. You have been through an awful time. But it is fantastic to know you also have wonderful new beginnings to spur you on. I am so happy to know you finished your novel and submitted it. It can't have been easy when such very sad events were going on. I really admire your courage and determination. Best of luck with the new puppy. he sounds gorgeous and will bring you masses of joy. xxx

  2. What a sad time, Hayley, but I'm so pleased you have such happy events to look forward to now. Well done on getting the novel away - it now gives you something to edit and proves you can finish a full length. Have a wonderful time getting to know Murray!